Friday, October 27, 2006

Jeff Is A Great American and So Is Dave

"Thank you, Mr. President. On Thursday of this week, you were speaking at a campaign event on behalf of Iowa's Republican candidate for Congress, Jeff Lamberti."

"That's right."

"You took the stage and said Mr. Lamberti would win the election, and that you and he share similar values regarding family and taxes, and marriage, and so on. The problem was, as was reported in numerous press stories, you repeatedly referred to Jeff Lamberti as 'Dave.' Would your endorsement have been more effective if you knew his name?"

"Well, to be fair, I did refer to him correctly as 'Jeff' 11 times in my comments. People say I'm inflexible, but look at that – you see, my tactics are always changing. Job of the President is a tough job."

"Were you confused about Lamberti's name?"

"No! And what you've got to understand is that the President acts on the best intelligence he can get! I was correct, based on my understanding that his name was Dave."

"Then why did you call him Jeff at other times?"

"Look, no one could have foreseen that this man would actually be named Jeff. We have a tough job up here."

"Do you think it's a metaphor for criticisms of your administration?"

"This Administration is always responding to new information and changes in our intelligence. You have to adapt quickly if you're going to change. And our message in this election is, 'It's a good time for change.'"

"Is that really your message?"

"Absolutely. Of course. Always has been, even before this election. Our Administration is changing its story all the time – you know, changing tactics, and the story follows the tactics. That's how you win. And we're going to win. And you don't win by sticking to your old story. So we adapt. This is the party that truly upholds change and so I say, if you want change, stick with the Republican party."

"Does Jeff share that point of view?"

"Absolutely. You bet. Dave is behind us all the way. We need more people like Dave as we confront evil."

"Jeff, sir."

"Yes, and Jeff, too."


Wingtiphsu said...

Is it me, or do most folks from Iowa sort of look like each other a whole bunch?

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