Tuesday, October 10, 2006

There Ain't No River Either

No blogging for a few days. A little bit busy and a little bit uninspired. Rapid-fire headaches and sulky tempers. In Zen practice, one tries to become whatever barrier he encounters; so I became sulking. It worked so well I fell between the floorboards and had to climb out. Just as I climbed out, a cat sniffed me and inadvertently sucked me into her nose. She then sneezed and I hit the ground very hard. When I woke up, an ant was getting ready to carry me off and I had to run. This set the tone for the whole weekend.

* * *

My acting teachers from the Conservatory tell me that I would be officiating at their wedding ceremony if that civil right were available to them. For them, I would perform the ceremony with no hesitation. They have been practicing marriage for nearly three decades and together they have built a home that nourishes friendship, wisdom, and love in their community. Their relationship is exemplary. There is no defensible argument against calling their bond a marriage, celebrating it by that name, and letting it be recognized by the state.

At a wedding reception, I watched these two men dancing together. The D.J. announced that we were now going to "see who has been married the longest." He had all the couples on the dance floor, and announced he would pare the couples based on the length of their marriages: 1 year or more, 5 years or more, 10 years or more, and so on. The last couple standing would be the longest-married.

Right away, B. and S. started to leave the dance floor, presumably because this was for married couples. My heart dropped at this sight, for reasons described above. Then I saw them change their minds. They turned back and danced together among the other married couples, staying on that dance floor up to the 30-year mark. It was a small Boston Tea Party and it gladdened my heart.

* * *

From my journal:

The meaning of discipline changes? The meaning of discipline does not change. The active meaning is always following.

To follow objects is to be ruled by desire.

In the early stage of a discipline we follow technique. Here, desire is used to fuel or inspire our discipline. Thus, a mythical notion of a path leading to some good end. A useful dream.

Later, discipline only follows situation. The mind cannot be placed anywhere because it flows like water.

Kill the actor and the river runs free.


boombud said...

Peculiar thing about California the northern, is I never found any cider either, except the hard kind. People in California always asked me how cider differed from apple juice. I've come to believe it's the live food, unpasteurized nature of the fresh pressed apple we yankees crave, especially in the Fall. The sub-urban orchards have all gone to housing tracts. The farm outlets are nearly extinct, just like the drive-in theater.

Wingtiphsu said...


I get all my cider at TJ's.

skroy said...

come home. we've got lots of apples to press.