Friday, June 27, 2008

Larry Craig and My Cat, Protecting America

"Sarah, do you feel it isn't worth getting married anymore?"

"Waaahhh??" (She is brushing her teeth.)

"Getting married. You know. Now that THEY can get married?"

"Aaaaahhhdddrr."

"The homosexuals! They can get married now! Do you think the institution has been shattered? Is it meaningless now?"

"Aadddhowwwaaa."

"What??"

"Algernon, I couldn't hear anything you said!"

"Oh. Never mind."

* * *


Yes, there are a lot of happy people in California these days, savoring a moment of dignity and full participation in civil society. Homosexual couples are getting hitched and it is in fact a legal bond of matrimony.

So far, the promised social anarchy has not come about, but Schroeder the Cat is watching vigilantly through the windows for signs of civil unrest or moral breakdown. I must say, though, he seems preoccupied mainly with the squirrels.


* * *

Never fear, however, because the Federal Marriage Amendment is back!! It does just what you expect - defines marriage exclusively as the union between a man and a woman.

But the really funny part is the list of sponsors. Read it carefully. Any names pop up for you?

Surely you noticed David Vitter. Aaaaah, David Vitter!! Now here's a guy who demonstrates how to uphold marriage.

But look again - did you notice another, perhaps funnier champion of heterosexual marriage on there? Oh yes he is! Ladies and gentleman, Larry Craig is here to protect marriage against gay people - "which, by the way, in case you are wondering, I am not!"

Ladies and gentlemen, in case you forgot about Larry Craig and why he is the most rollicking funny Senator on the hill, enjoy The Ballad of Larry Craig.



3 comments:

Pam said...

I'm so relieved that Schroeder is keeping a vigilant watch for signs of impending civil unrest.

As for the aforementioned Congressmen....well... it's a relief to know that hypocrisy still reigns in Washington!!!

Go Schroed, Lar, and Dave!

I feel safer already..

Jane R said...

As I said somewhere else in somebody's comments on this same issue, sometimes the Daily Show and "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" just write themselves!

Donna said...

Where would we be without hypocrites defining morality and telling us how we should live our lives??