Friday, January 27, 2012

Sutra-Bible Jive


"Lucca loves that Noah's ark toy. We might have to get him his own. They aren't cheap, though. They're like forty bucks."

"Noah's cost a lot more than that."

"Noah didn't--"

"Where do you think that lumber came from?? We're talking serious shekels here. He had to go to Foxworth-Galbraith and buy all that lumber, didn't he."

"No he did not."

"What else do you suppose he did? He had to go to the Foxworth Galbraith in his pickup truck and say, 'Hello,' or whatever that is in Aramaic, 'I am Noah, son of so-and-so, who was the son of so-and-so, who begat such-and-such.' He was probably there all day."

"No."

"Not that I'm making fun of the Old Testament, mind you. Have you ever tried reading the sutras? The Buddha liked lists. Long, long, incredibly detailed lists, just like in the Bible. But the sutras are even worse! Anything you say in a sutra, you have to repeat three times, five times, maybe more.

"Not that I'm making fun of the Old Testament, mind you. I ask for the second time, have you ever tried reading the sutras? The Buddha liked lists. Long, long, incredibly detailed lists, just like in the Bible. But the sutras are even worse! Anything you say in a sutra, you have to repeat three times, five times, maybe more.

"Not that I'm making fun of the Old Testament, mind you. I ask for the third time, have you ever tried reading the sutras? The Buddha liked lists. Long, long, incredibly detailed lists, just like in the Bible. But the sutras are even worse! Anything you say in a sutra, you have to repeat three times, five times, maybe more."

"Please stop."

"Should auuuuullllld acquaintance be begat....."

"I'm leaving."

"...and spelled out in long liiiiiiiists..... Hey, where'd you go? I was thinking we should get Lucca his own ark..."

2 comments:

Mandy_Fish said...

"He was probably there all day."

Haaaa!

Kelly said...

This made me smile.