During a weekend when I boarded no fewer than six passenger airplanes, I heard what was probably the most memorable "message from the captain" I've heard yet.
First, though, I must ask: are commercial pilots really "captains?" What I've read is that the senior pilot is called a "captain" and the co-pilot is called a "first officer." "Pilot" and "co-pilot" are not respectable enough.
Anyway, let's not be grouchy. The pilot--err, the captain-- began making his overhead announcement as the plane was taxiing down the runway. It was a big airport and apparently the system of runways was complicated, because the captain's announcement went something like this:
We do apologize for the long delay, and are finally cleared for takeoff on this flight to -- hang a right! Hang a right! Hang a right! Hang a right!
At which point the plane lurched and made a sharp right turn onto a different runway.
The stewardess strapped into her seat nearby let out a loud whoop of laughter. I turned to her and said,"Someone has just earned a new nickname."
"You bet he has!"
We did, for all that, land in Chicago.