Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Biting Back The Bluetooth

Here is how I cured a young intern of walking around with his Bluetooth phone clipped to his ear. ALL the time. You know what I'm talking about, right?

I'm over them, friends: These status-seeking people walking around like characters from Star Trek: The Next Franchise with their hands-free Bluetooth cell phones clipped ostentatiously to their ears even when they aren't engaged in some crisis that can't wait for them to arrive at home or at their office.

"This person is important," the little barrette-phones are telling us.

A new college-age intern recently joined our office for three days a week. At first, he would walk in boldly every day with that creepy blue thing stuck on his head. Without fail, I would say to him, "Hey! You got something in your ear!"

Ever so patiently, the young fella said, "Oh, it's my phone."

I would move no muscle in my face, except to narrow my eyes. "A phone? That's a telephone?? How is that a telephone?"

And I would make him explain it to me all over again. I did this every day.

He doesn't wear his telephone anymore.

This is a tiny step forward, but I have thought of a bolder move I will try soon, in line with my Red Nose Manifesto. Here are the instructions:

1. Take the handset from a regular sized telephone.

2. Remove cord

3. Strap to your head with some kind of cord: ribbon, twine, bungee cable, duct tape, or anything. (Bear in mind you will have to remove it later.)

4. Walk around downtown talking loudly into your phone. Extra points for going into businesses, museums, etc., and acting very put out when people ask you to cease talking on the phone.


Anonymous said...

movie theaters. ugh. blinking blue lights. do they not know that the light points in the direction of the person sitting next to them, or do they choose to ignore it, assuming we like the color blue and especially enjoy it flashing in our peripheral vision as we're trying to watch a movie?

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