Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Elevated Thoughts

At the Century City building where I sell my time, we go up and down the building in these clunky elevators. Using the stairs is not an option because they lock the doors to each floor. This has something to do with homeland security or whatever and I don't question it for fear I will be hooded and sent to the Salt Pit. Like an agreeable citizen, I just get on the electrically-powered elevators and ride them up and down, never sure whether it is okay to say hello to other people on the elevator. As you do.

Anyway, on the rear wall of each elevator a pink flier is taped advertising flu shots at a reduced price. Everyone in the building is invited to go and get themselves poked with some flu vaccine and those of who thinking of coming are requested, in boldface print, to "please wear appropriate clothing."

Thus an image is summoned of a medical clinic with velvet ropes and brass stantions, and a burly bouncer in a black blazer sizing up my ensemble and deciding whether I'm cool enough to purchase a $25.00 flu shot. This is L.A., after all.

As the elevator slowly makes it progress, stopping at one floor after another, I have time to ponder what would constitute the inappropriate attire for a flu shot. A suit of armor? A Star Wars stormtrooper costume? Would it be possible to contrive a flu virus costume that didn't end up looking like a gigantic potholder?

Somewhere in the midst of my list, the elevator arrives and I must go wherever I am going.

Oh, speaking of elevators! It is time a few of us hosted an elevator party in one of those Santa Monica parking structures.

For the longest time I have been wanting to do that, and if I can wear a clown nose on Election Day surely I can move the ball on some of these other random acts of lunacy.

MANIFESTO: Get a cooler, get together a few friends, and ride the elevator at the Santa Monica parking structure for three hours. Welcome people to the elevator, offer them a Dr. Pepper or whatever, and bid them farewell. This is especially good if the party has the opportunity to welcome somebody back again. "Hey!!! You're back! What'd you do, go shopping? Hey, great! Yeah, we're still here."

Wanna come? Of course you do.

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